List Is Made and Checked Twice

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - December 17, 2010

Hello. I’m still here. Sorry for the long delay between postings. I’d say I’ve been busy but I haven’t really been. Lazy, mostly. Though I did begin volunteering at Under One Roof in the Castro here in San Francisco. 

Under One Roof is a non-profit store where 100% of the profits go to local Aids Service Organizations here in the Bay Area. It’s a wonderful store during the holiday season. Seriously, if you can’t “get into” the Christmas spirit when you walk into the shop, then you’re probably not ever going to be a Christmas person. Can’t wait to see the store after January. Supposedly one Christmas display stays up year ‘round. Come by and see us for you last minute gift needs!

OK, so much has happened in the sports world that this will probably, well, who am I trying to kid. This posting will be a list! A list I tell you! Where to start? One thing “stuck in my crawl” for over a week, and that thing is Brett Favre. Look, I get that his streak of 297 consecutive starts was very impressive. Monumental, really. But when the sports media is discussing the streak and whether Favre would play or not, rather than concentrating on the team and what the Vikings needed to be doing to improve for next season, well, it kind of made me sick.

Brett Favre is not more important than the team. He’s not! Or at least he shouldn’t be. There really is no “i” in team. Heck, even my gay softball team knows that. And then the Metrodome roof collapses due to the snow/wind. Wow, how freakin’ awesome was the video of inside the dome during the collapse? Amazing. And a fitting end to Favre’s career, so say the football gods and goddesses.

Cam Newton from Auburn won the Heisman Trophy. (Kevin, yeah, Warm Beagle is playing for the title a year after the Tide won it. Two words, Sweetie: QUACK ATTACK!!) So apparently his father pimped out his football services to the highest bidder. If so, then naturally Auburn would outbid Mississippi State for a prized football recruit. They’re higher up in the pecking order.

And the NCAA decided that yes, Newton’s father did pimp his son. But his son didn’t know about it, so therefore he should not be punished. Which means kicked off the football team and not be eligible to play at all anymore. Really? Ignorance then IS a defense to break the law according to the NCAA. Interesting.

Mizzou is playing Iowa in the Insight Bowl in Tempe, Arizona. Hmmm, at least it should be warm. It will make it a bit more tolerable to sit on the bleacher seats at Sun Devil Stadium. At least it used to be all bleachers. We’ll see.

I also found it very interesting that, though Missouri and Iowa are border states, the two schools haven’t met on the football field since 1910. Interesting. Apparently they met quite often until 1910, when according to Iowa, Missouri wouldn’t allow one Hawkeye player to play because he was black, and after the narrow Tiger victory, the Iowa coach swore never to play Mizzou again. And they haven’t. I love history.

Quite the NFL season going on. We’re in week 14 and things are pretty tight. Of course the f*ck*ng Patriots are kicking major arse again. And the Steelers, even with Big Ben out for six games, are cruising along. Atlanta and New Orleans are battling in the NFC South, and it looks like we’re learning that maybe Randy Moss really is that much of a cancer on a team’s roster. 

But the one thing that really bothers me is how the NFC West, and more importantly the West’s automatic playoff berth, are being ridiculed and laughed at. Look, I have no problem seeding all playoff teams with 1-8 being the best records in the conference. The division championship would still guarantee you a playoff game, but you wouldn’t be guaranteed a home playoff game. 

That way an 8-8 division winner (say, St. Louie Rams!!) would qualify for the playoffs but a wild card team with an 11-5 record (say, Chicago Bears) would get the home game rather than the Rams due to the better won-loss record. I’m OK with that.

Another problem that I have is that folks are saying that the West champion shouldn’t get into the playoffs at all. Say the Rams win the division. It will take 8, if not 9, wins to capture the division crown. The Rams won one game last year. ONE GAME! 

That means the team (bless you Sam Bradford!) will have improved over last season by a minimum of 7 games, maybe even 8 or 9. That’s a HUGE improvement, something that shouldn’t be overlooked simply because the rest of the division is weak. If the Rams can pull out the division crown and host a playoff game, well, I think the Rams and the good folks in St. Louis (that’s you, Mom!) deserve it after enduring all of the hellish football of the last three, four seasons. 

The Beard Has Been Feared

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - November 2, 2010

Finally the real curse is over. The curse? Maybe not. The Torture? Definitely. 

Call it what you want but 52 years is a long time. And the San Francisco Giants are World Champions of Baseball (well, North America anyways)!

Yes, our beloved Giants did the impossible and the improbable and won the World Series four games to one against the Texas Rangers, igniting minor rioting but mostly major reveling and merriment in the streets of San Francisco (hey, that would be great name for a TV show!). It was the first championship for the Giants since the big move west in 1958. It also, somewhat, exorcised the demons of the near misses in 1989 and 2002.

The Giants’ pitching in the Series (the entire postseason, for that matter) was simply unbelievable. Timmy Lincecum pitched eight innings of one-run ball and Brian “Fear the Beard” Wilson closed out the Ninth. Matty Cain didn’t give up an earned run throughout the ENTIRE POSTSEASON! And Mad Dog Bumgarner pitched eight shutout innings in Game Four to pretty much seal the victory for the Orange and Black.

What a band of misfits, as the team was being called by national and local media types. Aubrey Huff Daddy and his magic red thong. FEAR THE THONG!

Cody Ross. The bald, bearded wonder. Got the Giants off and running this postseason with some huge home runs against Atlanta and Philadelphia. He was also stealing the hearts of men and women in San Francisco with his adorable smile. Hence his nickname: Smiles. (ahhh!)

Buster Freakin’ Posey! Soon to be named Rookie of the Year for the National League for 2010. Wow. Has a player ever emerged from the minors and stolen a team’s and a city’s collective hearts quite like Posey did this year? Buster looks like he’s 15 years old but he plays like a grizzly veteran. He handles the pitchers brilliantly and how many clutch hits and homers did he have this post season?

And who can forget Edgar Renteria? World Series Most Valuable Player! Wow. When he hit the three run homer in Game Five I thought the roof of the bar was gonna fly off. That’s how loud the crowd was inside. Just amazing.

After the final out and the champagne was being toasted me and my buddies drifted outside to see what was happening in the streets. Even in Bernal Heights cars were honking and people highfiving out their windows, waving Rally Rags. People were hugging in the streets, dancing in the streets. Fireworks were being shot off (probably illegally). Good times abounded.

There was minor violence. Six arrests at last count. A couple of windows broken. City busses stopped by crowds in the streets. Nothing too major.

Finally the 2010 baseball season is over. It’s been a long ride. And who knew that our beloved Giants would be the last team standing.Thank god it’s over, though. I seriously can’t afford to be going out every night and my liver hurts. So well done, Boys!

Next up is tomorrow’s parade and civic celebration. I’ve never been to a championship celebration parade. In the St. Louis Cardinals World Series’ in the 1980s I was too young and 100 miles away in 1982. In 1985 we were robbed by Don Denkinger. And in 1987 we were robbed by the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in Minneapolis. And the St. Louie Rams won the Super Bowl the year AFTER I moved to California. Just my luck.

So tomorrow is finally the day. Almost 41 years on this planet and finally this avid sports fan gets to go to a championship celebration parade. Should be quite memorable. 

As memorable as the 2010 Giants? Who knows. This team of misfits will be hard to top. But it should be a wonderful culmination to an unbelievably wonderful season.

Go Giants! 2010 World Series Champions! Enjoy the parade tomorrow, San Francisco. I’ll be packed into Civic Center myself. Back to normal life on Thursday.

Orange October Contines... to November

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - October 25, 2010

To borrow a phrase from the late, great Jack Buck, “Go crazy, Folks! Go crazy!”

And that’s exactly what happened this past Saturday evening, at approximately 8 PM local time, here in San Francisco. Brian Wilson, of Fear-the-Beard fame, pitched the final five outs against the Philadelphia Phillies and got Ryan Howard looking for strike three to clinch the National League Pennant for the San Francisco Giants.

The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!

What a series. Simply unreal. Do the Giants have the best pitching staff ever? Maybe. Maybe not. But the rotation of Timmy Lincecum, Matty (Ralph Malph) Cain, Jonathan Sanchez and Madison “Mad Dog” Bumgarner is pretty tough to beat. Throw in a bullpen that’s getting stronger and stronger as it gets colder an wetter outside, and Brian “Beard” Wilson closing things out, and the Giants pitching is rock solid.

I was fortunate to go to Game Four of the N.L.C.S. at AT&T Park, the 6-5 Giants win on a “walk off” sacrifice fly. Unreal. The electricity in the stadium that evening, I’ve never seen anything like it before. The crowd roared on every pitch.

We had “standing room only” tickets, which were great, about 10 feet to the left of the right field fair pole. We stood in front of McCovey Cove. The view was amazing, until something happened and everyone in front of us stood up. Couldn’t see a gawd-damn thing. Did I or my buddy Jenny (if you ever get a chance to go to a game with Jenny, playoffs or regular season, DO IT!) mind or complain? Oh hell no. 

I (and Jenny also, as it turned out) had never been to a major league playoff game before. It was mind-blowingly exciting. Every pitch. Every out. Every baserunner. I hugged everyone standing around us at least five times. The crowd was jovial. We were all just happy to be there, screaming and yelling, sweating and bleeding our beloved Giants to victory. 

And it worked. Giants won 6-5. Led the series 3-1. Timmy pitching Game Five at home. How could we lose? Clinching the pennant in front of the home fans. Yes.

Except that the Giants played probably their worst game of the post season. Errors, bad umpire calls, mostly errors and lack of clutch hitting, and the Phillies survived to play another day, winning Game Five 4-2.

Off to Philly for Games Six and Seven, if needed. The Giants’ history in clinching playoff series’ on the road was not good. 1987, lost the final two games in St. Louis to lose the pennant. 2002, lost the final two games to Anaheim on the road to lose the World Series, blowing a five run lead in Game Six late in the game. Uh oh. There were/are reasons the Giants have yet to win a World Series title since moving to San Francisco. Oh dear...

Saturday rolled around. Personally I was torn because my beloved Mizzou Tigers were playing the then-B.C.S. number one ranked Oklahoma Sooners on national TV at the exact time the Giants were playing. I chose to support my beloved Giants, as the World Series was on the line.

Got my business done on Saturday and met up with “the gang”, my group of buddies and friends that I’ve watched most of the Giants’ playoff games with this autumn. Went to the Stray Bar in Bernal Heights (cheap plug, yeah, your welcome, Karen) for cheap beer and couches. 

Could the Giants win it in Six and avoid anything having to do with a Game Seven in Philadelphia? Could they? Could we? Giants fall behind by two. Sanchez is struggling. My buddy Brad is pleading with Bochy to pull him. 

Giants rally to tie the game. Sanchez is pulled in bottom of the third. Just have to say one thing about that inning: totally weak on Chase Utley’s part, throwing the ball back to Sanchez after getting hit. Yeah you got hit. Was it intentional? Are you freaking serious? Of course not. Very immature and unprofessional on your part. That was what was “such bullshit”, as you couldn’t seem to figure out after it happened.

Anyway, back to the game. Could the Giants bullpen hold up for basically seven innings? Oh geez. That’s a long time.

Back and forth. Giants don’t score. Phillies don’t score. Eighth inning. Who would step up? Who’d be the hero?

U-RIBE!!! UUUUU-RIIIIIBE!!! Juan Uribe hits a solo homer in the top of the eighth. Giants up 3-2. Six outs away from the pennant.

Timmy Lincecum comes in to pitch in relief. First guy, OUT! Next two get base hits. Oh no. Five more outs needed. Timmy was struggling.

Bochy emerged and in came Beard Wilson. 

Five outs to go. 

Wilson got the final two outs in the eighth. Giants go down in the top of the ninth. 

Three outs to go.

Wilson got the first out. Drama building. Folks in the bar, myself included, screaming and howling at the top of our lungs. Wilson got the second out. Are we gonna do it? Is this really happening. 

Howard’s up. No homers and no RBI for the series. Surely he’d do something here. STRIKE THREE CALLED! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT!

Folks in Bernal Heights took to the streets, high-fiving total strangers and hugging people as they walked by. Cars were honking. People were shooting off fireworks. I rode in a cab down Mission from Bernal Heights to the Excelsior. It was a madhouse. Giants fans literally pouring into the streets. Flags waving. Pom poms waving. People hugging and cheering. Me hanging out the cab window waving my Rally Rag. What a scene. Haven’t seen a city reaction to a baseball game like that since the Running Redbirds days of the St. Louis Cardinals during the 1980s.

Game One of the World Series begins Wednesday. Beat Texas! Less Texas in America! Can the Giants win it all? Can they bring the World Series trophy to San Francisco? Finally? Why the hell not? 

The last two world weeks have been incredible. Why stop now? Why not wave Aubrey’s red thong and profess our communal love for Cody Ross down Market Street during a championship parade? 

Why not? The torture continues.

Fear the Beard!

Giants Fever, Catch It!

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - October 16, 2010

I see ORANGE people.

Fear the Beard!

F*CK YEAH!

San Francisco definitely has Giants Fever! Our beloved Orange and Black start the National League Championship Series today in Philadelphia against the Phillies. ¡Vamos Gigantes!

Nobody expected the Giants to do much this year. Sure, they had great pitching. But the offense was supposed to be so “offensive” that the team would have been overachieving if it finished at .500.

But look what happened. The National League West was a two-team race in the end. Yeah the Rockies tried to get back into it and were in it until the last two weeks. But it was mano a mano, or is that equipo a equipo, between the Giants and the San Diego Padres.

The Padres? How can you hate the Padres? San Diego is beautiful. You can even go into the water in San Diego without worrying (too much) about sharks, riptides and hypothermia. And, they are NOT the Dodgers.

But as the season wore on and the Pad’s huge lead in the West started to dwindle and get smaller and smaller, San Franciscans realized, “Hey, we can win this thing.” Suddenly we all took notice of the standings because Giants’ games were becoming and event again at AT&T Park.

Once the Rockies fell off the pace (and you had to worry about them, seeing as how they won, what, 13 out of 14 to win the wild card in 2007, or something crazy like that) the battle was on between the Giants and the Padres. NorCal versus SoCal. Bring it on.

The battle for the West raged on. Giants up by three games with three to play, all three against the Padres. Pads win the first. Pads win the second. Suddenly it’s the last game of the regular season and the Giants are clinging to a one game lead. The City was ready for a showdown.

Final game. Giants win. Off to the playoffs. The team made a victory lap around AT&T Park after clinching the West, and all of the Bay Area rejoiced. Champagne glasses were raised. Beer glasses were toasted. Joints were lit up. Los Gigantes were off to the playoffs.

Everyone rallied around the Giants in the first round against the Braves. Young and old, gay and straight, hipsters and yuppies. It was awesome to be a part of. Giants win a thrilling series.

But now things get ever more serious. Four wins away from the World Series. Four wins against the two-time defending National League Champions. Timmy Lincecum opens the series for the Giants. Awesome, no problem, right? The Phillies counter with Doc Halladay. All he did was pitch the second no-hitter in post-season history in the Phillies’ first series. Damn, that’s pretty awesome.

So it’s on. Love your cheese steaks, Philly, but that’s about it. San Francisco is ready to rally around our local nine again. 

Rally rags? Check. Orange pompoms? Check. Bright orange shirt? Check. See you at the bar, Giants fans.

Settle Down, Giants Fans

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - October 9, 2010

Playoff baseball is upon us. Wow, what an exciting time of the year! Sure, baseball can be kind of boring to watch, more of a social event at the stadium rather than a sporting event. At least in San Francisco, anyways.

But lo and behold baseball has The City in its claws right now because San Francisco’s beloved Giants shocked the world and won the National League West Division. 

One thing you have to understand is that San Francisco isn’t the best sports city in the country. There’s just too many other things to do here and it’s a very transient community within The City. I wasn’t living here when the 49ers were winning their five Super Bowls. I’m sure The City rallied behind them because their games became events.

San Francisco loves an event. Bring the eyes of the nation to one particular place and San Francisco will be there en masse, roaring with approval and being seen where it’s cool to be seen. Right now that scene-to-be-seen is at the ball park. San Francisco is very proud of it’s “new” ball park, and AT&T Park, situated right along San Francisco Bay, while not being cheap, is a GREAT place to see a ball game.

The City was flying high with Giants Fever as Game Two approached in SF. And why not? The Giants seemed invincible after Game One. Sure we have no offense and our bullpen can be suspect, but damn, no one can touch our starting pitching. I mean, we kept Barry Freakin’ Zito off the playoff roster because our rotation was already so strong!

And Timmy Lincecum did not disappoint in Game One. A two-hit shutout, 14 strikeouts. FOURTEEN! It was incredible to watch. The kid was en fuego. The City roared it’s approval every time an Atlanta Brave struck out. And after the Giants scored a run we all knew the game was over. Timmy was not going to disappoint.

And he didn’t. The Giants took Game One 1-0 and all of San Francisco seemed to be screaming and hollering and toasting our victorious Giants. There seemed no way in hell the Braves had a chance against our Orange and Black. No way in hell.

Matty Cain was pitching Game Two, and since he bears a striking resemblance to Ralph Malph from Happy Days, we were ready to holler, “I still got it!” after all of his strike outs.

Bottom of the first inning, Pat Burrell cranks a three-run home run, Giants up 3-0. The score eventually gets to 4-0 and Cain is happily rolling along, even hitting an RBI single himself to boot. The Giants couldn’t fail. The City was already making plans on where to watch the clinching game on Sunday while still being able to see the Blue Angels perform (another event taking place the same weekend).

Braves get a run. Isn’t that cute. Cain keeps rolling along.

Suddenly Cain started to falter. Suddenly the Braves started getting base runners. Suddenly we didn’t seem so invincible. Cain got yanked and suddenly our “suspect bullpen” was in the game. Uh oh. 

Giants closer Brian Wilson came into the game in the eighth inning. Uh oh. Braves rallied to tie the score in the top of the ninth. Uh oh. Giants couldn’t rally and the Braves got a home run in the eleventh inning to win the game. Oh shit.

Wait a minute. What just happened? I barely had time to step out on the patio for a smoke and get a beer at the bar and now we lost? This wasn’t supposed to happen. This isn’t physically possible.

Game Three is in Atlanta on Sunday. Now our beloved Giants need to win Sunday or face elimination the next day. 

Over-confidence can be a bad thing. While we were deliriously waving our Rally Rags and orange pompoms and deciding where we were gonna watch the next game, somebody forgot to tell the Braves to Fear the Beard. See you in Atlanta.

Rebels, Say It Ain't True. Long Live JSU!

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - September 4, 2010

Happy First-Full-Saturday-of-College-Football! Granted, not as exciting of a day as next Sunday, which is of course Opening Day of the National Football League, but it’ll do. It’s been a long time since last February and New Orleans’ awesome Super Bowl victory. Who Dat?!

Still a good day. Spent the entire day watching football, beginning with the most-inconvenient 9:30AM kickoff between my Mizzou Tigers and the Illinois Fighting Illini. Anytime you have to set an alarm to watch a football game it’s starting way too early. I guess I should be happy the game was on TV at all. It’s a long way from St. Louis, MO to San Francisco, CA.

Definitely a happy day. Especially with Ol’ Mizzou beating the Illini for the sixth consecutive season. Go Tigers! Optimism runs high at this time of the year. Everyone’s tied for first place. And especially when you win your season opener, life is very good, at least until next weekend.

What have we learned from Opening Day of College Football? Not too much. Alabama is still gonna be ranked number one. But really, San Jose State? I mean, I live in the Bay Area and even I had to remind myself: Does SJSU have a football team?

Oklahoma struggled and only beat Utah State by seven. Huh? Probably just a fluke. OU will be fine. They always are. The most important Sooner news is that OU alum Sam Bradford, the number one draft pick in this year’s NFL draft, will start the St. Louis Rams season opener next Sunday against the Big Red. Go Sam Bradford! Yeah, I’m trusting my NFL happiness to a Choke-lahoma grad, but what can I do? The Rams have won six games in the last three seasons. SIX!!!

But back to the topic-at-hand: college football opening day. What did we learn? It’s hard to learn a lot opening day due mainly to the large number of cupcake games played by the powerhouse teams. I mentioned Alabama/San Jose State. What about Miami/Florida A&M? Or Florida State/Samford? Tough to determine anything based on those games. Cupcakes take the big money and offer themselves up to powerhouse teams for large paychecks.

Sometimes it backfires for the powerhouse schools. Today’s darlings of college football: Ladies and Gentlemen your Jacksonville State Gamecocks from Jacksonville, Alabama! 

They marched into Oxford, Mississippi and SEC country and beat the Ole Miss Rebels 49-48 in two overtimes! What a finish! The last two plays for the ‘cocks: 30 yard touchdown pass on FOURTH-AND-FIFTEEN, then a two-point conversion pass through a maze of arms and hands that somehow found the receiver. Awesome. Sure, Ole Miss is usually towards the bottom of the SEC standings, but it’s still an SEC team. 

Jacksonville is a Football Championship Subdivision team, which used to be called Division I-AA, but I guess that was more confusing then Football Championship Subdivision? Whatever. Division I-AA! That’s huge! Careful with those cupcakes, Ole Miss. Good thing tailgating in The Grove in Oxford was in full swing, because by the end of the game Rebel fans needed something to take their minds off of the game.

Ole Miss was ranked in the Top Ten going into last season, peaking at number four, but wound up with a 9-4 record and a Cotton Bowl victory. Not too shabby. But not a national championship either. And today they fell to Jacksonville State.

The Kansas Jayhawks did the same thing, “hiring” Division I-AA North Dakota State to come to Lawrence and get killed by the Jayhawks. Guess what happened? The Bison beat the Jayhawks 6-3. Words cannot describe how truly awesome that result it. Especially to a Mizzou alum who is still bitter that the Jayhawks got the 2007 Orange Bowl bid over Mizzou even though the Tigers beat them and finished ahead of them in the Big XII standings.

Fear the ‘cocks!!! Fear the Bison!!!

One More World Series Memory...

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - September 4, 2010

One more thought from the Gay Softball World Series in Columbus, Ohio. Probably my favorite memory from the week-long tournament...

COLUMBUS, OH — After the SF Inferno was eliminated from the Gay Softball World Series on Friday the most amazing thing happened on my team, and it showed me and reminded me of why I loved this team so much this season. 

After we lost our final game to the Austin Shady Ladies we had our usual team meeting in the shade to discuss the game and Coach Sheryl congratulated each one of us individually and commented on everyone’s season. After we were done and had our final team cheer folks started heading out, back to the hotel or out on the town, as we had nothing but free time now that our games were over.

Much to my surprise one of the guys asked me quietly if I’d mind pitching to his partner, because he was dying to get some swings in on a real softball field while we were at the tournament. I said sure and mentioned it to Sheryl and Barb, coach’s wife, because I figured they would want to hang around and play some ball also. Plus I was riding with them, so I’m glad they agreed to stay around.

It turns out that we had 9 or 10 players hang out with us after our final game, hitting some balls, shagging some flies, having general softball merriment. We didn’t want our season to end so we kept playing on our own, even after our last tournament game. Just amazing to me.

Coach Sheryl and I talked often during this past season about how much we love/loved this year’s Inferno-D team. And we meant it. Just a wonderfully great group of men and women. I love them all, and the way we responded after being eliminated in Columbus, by having a virtual two-hour practice in the heat and humidity, reminded me why I loved this team and how much I look forward to playing with most or all of them again next season.

Thanks, Inferno! Continue Flaming On! 

Next stop: Chicago 2011!

World Series Lessons Learned, World Series Memories

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - August 27, 2010

Don’t assume you have all the answers. You don’t. Just make the proverbial ass  out of yourself and move on with your life. 

It never ceases to amaze me how much I learn life’s important lessons on the softball field. On the field and off the field. Traveling with a group of teammates and friends to a major national softball tournament is still one of life’s biggest thrills for me. I learn so much about my teammates and myself, but mostly what I learn is that what I thought was true or assumed was true about other people is about as far away from the truth as possible. Just amazing.

Dateline: COLUMBUS, OHIO. The 2010 Gay Softball World Series took place in the beautiful capital city of Ohio this past August 16-21, 2010. What a week of fun  playing softball, hanging out, partying and dancing, and just enjoying life. 

The Gay Softball World Series is an annual softball championship tournament hosted by the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Alliance (NAGAAA). Gay softball leagues from across North America compete in local leagues, following NAGAAA rules and player ratings, to qualify for the annual World Series. My team, the San Francisco Inferno, has qualified three of the last four years for the World Series. 2007 in Phoenix, 2008 in Seattle and 2010 in Columbus. We have every intention of qualifying for Chicago 2011 also. Wish us luck.

The city of Columbus welcomed the largest Gay Softball World Series by hosting the opening ceremonies on Monday evening, in downtown Columbus, along the banks of the Olentangy River. It was a lovely setting and a wonderful ceremony. After the ceremonies and a visit to our “local sponsor bar”, time for bed. First day of games was coming early the next morning.

Tuesday morning, pool play begins. We played two games on Tuesday. The first game was against the Atlanta Avengers. We played a good game. We batted OK, we played OK defense, I pitched OK. We lost to Atlanta 11-7. Not a bad showing for our first game of the tournament, especially since we took the field at 7:50AM Eastern time. That, of course, is 4:50AM Pacific time. Not to make excuses but that’s pretty darn early to get up for a softball game. But we did OK and we had another game to play that morning.

Our second game of the pool play portion of the World Series came against the Kansas City Rabid Kittens. Yes, one of the best team names I’ve heard of in any sport. We played the Kitties in Seattle in ’08. I totally remember the team from then, and we got the chance to play them again in Columbus.

We played a solid game throughout against KC. Hitting was solid. Defense and pitching, both solid. We won the game, something like 12-5. It was very nice to get our first tournament win under our belts.

So we finished our first day of the tournament at 1 win, 1 loss. Not too bad at all. We were “in” both games. One of our goals for the tournament was to not get “blown out” by any teams in Columbus. We were heavily overmatched in Phoenix in ’07. We didn’t want that to happen again in Columbus. 

The Columbus Clippers minor league baseball team hosted GSWS Night (the scoreboard never really did mention the word “gay” at all, just GSWS and NAGAAA, same deal with the signs around downtown Columbus welcoming the softball teams, I guess that’s how it is in the Midwest) at their game versus the Scranton-Wilkes Barre Yankees. Huntington Park in Columbus is a lovely ballpark to watch a game. Good times. Not sure who won. We left after singing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” during the seventh-inning stretch.

Day two of the World Series had us playing two more pool play games, versus Montreal (J'aime Montréal!) and the Austin, Texas Ball Busters. We were pretty excited that we didn’t have to play at 8AM in the morning. Yay, we don’t play until Noon! Boo, it was freakin’ hot as Hades by Noon! Oh my. I’d totally forgotten what the Midwest feels like in August. The locals kept telling us that the heat wave “broke” two days before we arrived. It was only 92 degrees with about 80 percent humidity. Kill me.

But we had two ball games to play. I was back on the mound for the game against Montreal. We played awesomely, adjusting to the heat and hitting, fielding and pitching very well. We beat our Canadian friends 15-9, or something to that effect. Great game played by everyone on the Inferno. 

I assume the Montreal team was friendly. Most, if not all, of them spoke French so I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. At one point I was on the mound and as I was getting ready to pitch I kept hearing “wait”, with a heavy accent. Finally Barb, playing shortstop, hollered at me and said, “they’re saying ‘oui’, not wait!” Ah. J'ai besoin de beaucoup de boissons.

Next up was the Austin Ball Busters. This game was back-and-forth the whole way. We wound up beating Austin by one run or so, it was very close. What a game! This game was the perfect example of not assuming anything during a game, or life for that matter. Wait until you have all the answers (play all the innings) before you make conclusions and decisions. It’s just easier that way. Sit back and enjoy the ride.

We scored four runs or so in the top of the first, and my confidence level was soaring. “We’re unbeatable today!”, I kept thinking to myself. Suddenly two innings later we were down by three or four runs and time was running out. We rallied to take the lead, held them on defense, didn’t score ourselves, then had to hold them again during Austin's last at bat.

Great play by our catcher for a key out. Timely strike out by Suga for the second out. And having a burly lumberjack playing first base never hurts, as he has a wide wingspan to collect errant throws and oddly hit balls. We held them and had our third World Series win out of four games.

Pool play ended with our team and spouses, all 22 of us, having a team dinner at Eddie George’s, across the street from THE Ohio State University campus. Lots of fun and everyone was just awesome. We had to wait until later that night to see what our ranking was going to be after pool play, but we were all in a pretty good mood.

Our “local bar sponsor” bar had showers for the go go dancers to “perform” in on the dance floor. We got to the bar before the go go dancers started, so naturally Barb, shortstop and left-center fielder, and the coach’s wife, got into the shower in the middle of the dance floor and “performed” for us. Very nice, Barbara. Still looking for the video on Facebook and YouTube.

After hitting a couple more bars we got the text from the team manager that we were ranked number nine out of thirty-eight after pool play. NUMBER NINE!!! The Inferno had never been ranked this high before at the World Series. EVER!!! We were quite pleased with ourselves, even taking photographs of ourselves in the streets and hootin’ and hollerin’ all over downtown Columbus. 

After hitting the dance club we went to see the brackets for ourselves. Sure enough there we were, No. 9. Just amazing. What also set us off a bit was the fact that the other team from San Francisco in our division, the team that beat us by 22 runs earlier in the season, was ranked No. 38 out of 38. Whoa!! I know I was very pleased with ourselves after seeing that. We didn’t have to play until 1:00 the next day and we were playing the team ranked No. 24. No problemo!!

It’s easy to see now that we, well, at least me, can’t speak for the others on the team, but I was getting a bit big-headed, believing that we were invincible. I was brought back to Earth very quickly the next day. The first day of double elimination. Us winning three games in pool play was great and all, but in reality it didn’t mean too much. Every team played four pool play games, regardless if they won all the games or lost all the games. Everyone gets a seed and at least two more games to play in double elimination. We were so proud of ourselves, but what had we accomplished really?

First game in double elim was against the Tampa Angels. We came in cocky. It was hot again. Games were delayed an hour due to games running late, but no excuses. We left our bats in the hotel (figuratively, not literally). I pitched one good inning. Couldn’t get out of the second inning. 

We lost the game 6-2, or something like that. Two freakin’ runs! Can’t win slow-pitch softball scoring two freakin’ runs! Very frustrating. And the worst part was we didn’t get to play another game that day. Since it was double elimination and we lost our first game of the day, and no team was to be eliminated until at least Friday, we had to wait until the next day to play again. Very frustrating. We had basically a full day to dwell on the fact that we didn’t hit and only scored two runs. Very very frustrating.

What was even more frustrating was that the other San Francisco team, the one which was ranked dead-last after pool play, got their shit together, pulled their hangovers into a bunch and won three games in a row during the first day of double elim play. Three in a row!!! We won three games, but in pool play, so we didn’t get to advance based on our wins. The Xtreme won three “double elim games” in a row and rose up through the bottom of the bracket and scared some people along the way. Well done, Xtreme!

So we rolled into Friday. It’s now or never if we’re gonna make some noise in the tournament. We needed to get on a six-game winning streak if we were gonna play for hardware on Saturday. But one game at a time. Gotta win the first one if we’re gonna play the second one. 

First up was the Shady Ladies from Austin, Texas. This was one of those games that just eats you up for a long time, especially if it’s the game that knocks you out of a tournament. Against the Shady Ladies we scored 3 runs in the first and led 3-0. Second inning the Shady Ladies scored 11 runs. ELEVEN!!! Tough to win after giving up a crooked number like an eleven on the scoreboard. 

But you know what? We battled back and battled back. Our defense was rock solid after that one inning. ROCK SOLID! And suddenly we started scoring runs and coming back. The Shady Ladies began to shake in their tutus a bit. Final score: Shady Ladies 12, Inferno 10. That’s right, if we eliminated the 11-run inning we beat the ‘Ladies 10-1. Very frustrating.

So the Inferno was done for the 2010 Gay Softball World Series. Yes we won three games, more than any other Inferno World Series team. In Seattle we won two games, one pool play and one double elimination game. It would have been nice to move one or more of our pool play wins into the double elimination round, but we can’t do that. 

All we can do is try and learn from our mistakes and learn from our memorable week in Columbus. Maybe we need to focus more attention on the double elim games and not worry so much about winning the pool play. Not sure if that’s possible, but I do know that we/I overreacted when we got our No. 9 ranking. In reality it meant nothing. We still played the minimum number of games (six) even though we won half of them. We should learn from the SF Xtreme. Ranked 38 out of 38 with a 7AM game the next morning. What do you do? Sulk? Bitch and moan? No. Have another beer, get some sleep and kick some ass and get three double elimination wins in a row the next morning! Go Xtreme!!!

Thank you, Columbus for a wonderful week. Hope to see you soon and good luck hosting the Gay Games in 2014. I know you’ll do fine.

It's OK To Dream...

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - August 13, 2010

Four days until the Opening Ceremonies of the 2010 Gay Softball World Series in Columbus, Ohio. The anticipation is building. I know, I should be an old-hand at this. Three out of the past four years my team has qualified now. We went to Seattle in 2008. Great city. Phoenix in 2007. I’m sure it’s lovely, millions live there. Too damn hot for me.

Anticipation is building again. That’s why we play sports, right? Because you just never know what’s gonna happen. Did you really think Boise State was gonna beat Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl a few years back? Did you really think Butler or George freakin’ Mason would make Final Four runs? Arizona Diamondbacks v. N.Y. Yankees? North Carolina State v. Houston? 

Just the fact that a colossal upset can happen at any time is why we watch the games. And also why we play the games. Look, I’ve been to the Gay World Series a couple of times now. I know how each participating city runs the ratings system in a different way. Some are very strict to prevent the League from levying fines against them. Some don’t care so much because they are only dealing with one or two teams in their leagues. There’s a wide discrepancy. But that’s just part of the game. Deal with it or play in someone else’s league.

In Phoenix we didn’t win a single game in the Series. Though we did tie one game against Dallas, and that team was later kicked out due to ratings issues. It’s crazy, but in most of those games we didn’t have a chance. Granted our team had peaked earlier in that season, but still, damn, most of those teams would have definitely been rated up in our league.

We won two games at the Seattle Series in ’08. Very exciting. I believe our team was better that season, mainly because we were peaking right as the Series was getting under way. It was really fun getting our first EVER World Series wins. We beat Milwaukee and Memphis. But still, in many of the games, we were completely overmatched. We’re the “D”-League, rookie league. Most of those teams would have at least been “C” in SF. But we do what we can because we want to play ball.

So Columbus is right around the corner. I know in my gut that it will be VERY DIFFICULT for us to win a trophy and place in the Series. I’ve been there. I know how it is. But dang it, there’s always a chance. Always a chance. What if we just get on a roll and we hit like we’ve never hit before? What if our pitching shuts down the opposing teams like we’ve never done before? I know our defense is solid. What if it just gets a little more solid? What if this? What if that? 

Despite the little part of me that says it will be nearly impossible for us to place in the World Series (I believe there are 40 teams in our bracket, at last check) I still hold out hope. Stranger things have happened. That’s why we play the games. Remember New England Patriots v. St. Louis Rams in the Super Bowl. Ugh, bad example...

           

Thank You, Judge Walker

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - August 6, 2010

I wasn’t gonna make a blog entry on this subject but the results of this have affected me much more intensely than I ever would have imagined. Enough so that it got me off my arse and marching down Market Street in San Francisco this past Wednesday to celebrate with my city and my “family”.

I’m speaking of the reversal of California Proposition 8, which defined (and changed our state constitution to read thusly) marriage as between a man and a woman. Period. Hmmmm, that rules out most of my friends, including me. Judge Vaughn Walker said the Proposition basically gave no good reason, besides malice and hatred, to deny gay and lesbian couples marriage licenses. Thank you, Judge Walker. Thank you.

Fifty-two percent of California voters passed California Proposition 8 in 2008. Naturally I was a bit upset by this but even a bit happy, because the last time this issue was voted on in California the anti-gay marriage side was at fifty-eight percent, or something like that. So progress was being made.

Of course, who could have guessed my wonderful hubby (in my heart, not legally) would leave us all on that horrible day in January? Of course, had Prop 8 not passed and we had gotten married, I’d be severely in debt and not sure how I’d be able to ever get out of it. So that was an eye-opener. It’s not really about any individual person or couple. It’s about civil rights for everyone, whether you want to use them or not.

Of course the issue is that everyone, EVERYONE, deserves the RIGHT to get married. Who the hell are you to say my marriage has to come up before a general vote, especially when a lot of factors in the election seemed very shady to a lot of people, me included? Sorry Mormons from Utah, but this was a California vote. Thanks. Who the hell are you to force your religion and morals on my legal contracts? Really?

Anyways, the court saw that clearly what the people had voted for was wrong. Simple discrimination. Wrong is wrong. People, American citizens, used to vote for slavery and other horrible institutions. Sometimes the people are wrong. And that’s just the way it is.

Thank you, Judge Walker, for seeing that the vote of the people was not correct. I love my country and I love democracy and freedom, but sometimes the general vote of the people is wrong. My honey is smiling his huge smile at you from heaven. Thank you, Judge Walker.

The Gay Softball League

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - August 6, 2010

For the third time in four years my softball team, the San Francisco Inferno, has qualified to play in the Gay Softball World Series. A once-in-a-lifetime chance has happened to me now for the third time. Just amazing.

This year’s World Series is being held in Columbus, Ohio. Looking forward to spending a little time in Columbus. Supposedly it’s a lovely and very gay-friendly city. Should be fun.

I’m the starting pitcher for the Inferno. My pitching skills have declined a bit in the last two seasons. Not sure if it’s age, life struggles or what, but my confidence in my pitching has been wavering a lot the past two seasons.  And it’s all mental. It’s all in my head.

Softball has been a wonderful diversion in my life this past year. Not even mentioning how awesome my team is and what wonderful people they all are and how fun they are to hang out with, softball has taught me to believe in myself and have confidence in myself. It also helps in the toughness department.

I’ve been hit by a line drive on the pitcher’s mound before. It hurts. It REALLY hurts. Being on the pitcher’s mound I’m the closest defender to the batter, sans the catcher. And the ball comes quickly off the bat sometimes. Gotta be ready. 

More than that it’s about overcoming just the fear of being hit by a ball. Some big, burly dude comes up to the plate and my first thought is to roll the ball on the ground and walk the dude. But that’s not really fair to my teammates who are trying and want the ball hit to them. Gotta suck it up and be ready for the line drives and grounders coming my way.

Confidence. It’s a critical factor in all areas of our lives. At least it is in my life. Gotta jump back into the dating world. Gotta get a job. Probably should concentrate on the job more than the dating thing. Gotta play the game of job hunting. Gotta get an income started again. My life got a bit easier when I met Kevin and moved in with him. But he’s gone now and I’m on my own again to make my life happen and be happy again. I also have a kitty who depends on me for his survival.

Where’s the confidence going to come from? How am I gonna be able to get a new job and sell myself to a new employer? How am I gonna be able to get my life over this sadness and darkness that has been hovering over me since that horrible day in January? The answer is renewed confidence in myself. And where is that confidence coming from these days? That’s right, the softball field.

Because I’m NOT gonna walk the big, burly dude whose at bat right now. I’m gonna throw the ball over the plate and if he hits it 500 feet away or if he lines it off of my leg, I’m gonna be ready and do the best I can. Because if for no other reason, my teammates are counting on me. And I do love every one of them and I don’t want to let them down. 

It’s just a game, sure. Gay softball. Some people snicker. I could care less. My teammates change every year, but the Inferno Family is always the same. Thanks, all of you. And let’s kick some major ass in Columbus. Go Inferno! Flame On!!!

My Dear, Sweet Football

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - August 6, 2010

Football. Sweet football. You will be back in our lives again very soon. All will be good once again. 

Football has been so unbelievably awesome to me the past few seasons. First the magical college football season of 2007. When the end times were upon us and the Mizzou Tigers were actually ranked number one in the nation. Not in basketball, in football. Still can’t believe it as I type those words. 

Two losses to Oklahoma were the only blemishes on the season. Had there been no Big XII championship game the Tigers would have played for the national championship. I still love Chase Daniel. And who can forget that memorable game on Thanksgiving weekend at Arrowhead in Kansas City when the Tigers beat Kansas to get the number one ranking? So freakin’ exciting. And Kansas went to the Orange Bowl and Mizzou to the Cotton Bowl? Really? OK, but it still makes no sense.

Then who can forget the magical 2008 NFL season? End times were continuing because who represented the NFC in the Super Bowl and had the lead late and damn-near pulled out the victory? The freakin’ Arizona Cardinals.

I was one of the 25,000 or so Big Red fans who went to the St. Louis Football Cardinals games at the old Busch Stadium. Sunday mornings were church, then drive to St. Louis and go to the football game. Nobody ever went and the team was relentlessly mediocre. Though after enduring the last three Rams seasons, a six-win season looks pretty awesome right now.

After the 1987 season team owner Bill Bidwill made good on his constant threats to move the team out of St. Louis if a new stadium wasn’t built. Really? Gonna move? Most folks in St. Louis just really didn’t care. The Baseball Cardinals just finished their third pennant-winning season since 1982, and St. Louis was on its way to becoming the best baseball town in the USA. The football team was pretty much an after-thought.

So the Big Red moved to Phoenix to play in a college stadium in the middle of the desert. OK. See you later. No biggie, right? I missed the team. I may have even cried a bit after the last home game. But the team left and St. Louis was football-less until 1995. It sucked, especially on Sunday afternoons when there was no game to go to.

Then what happens? The Big Red beat the Philadelphia Eagles and won the NFC, and damn near beat the Steelers for the Super Bowl title. Go Big Red!!

And finally the 2009 NFL season. And your Super Bowl champions? The New Orleans freakin’ Saints!!! So awesome. No bags on the heads of Saints fans anymore. Drew Breese and the boys made New Orleans, the state of Louisiana and yes, possible the entire nation, proud and ready to raise their collective glasses when they beat the Colts for the Super Bowl title. So exciting. It was very difficult not to cheer for the Saints. New Orleans deserved it. The people of New Orleans deserved it. Party on, New Orleans!!!

Thank you, Football! I still love you!!!

So Long, Cornhuskers...

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - August 5, 2010

The whole Lebron James, Brett Favre fiascos are really getting to be too much. Even for a serious sports fan like myself. Seriously? Not even worth the time and energy to blog about it. Make up your mind, Brett! Though I have to say I wouldn’t mind him starting for the St. Louis Rams this season and mentoring Sam Bradford. That would be sweet.

This posting is about what’s really important: FOOTBALL!!! The college season is still about a month away. I’m kind of torn about college football this season. Why? My beloved Mizzou Tigers are playing its last season in the current Big XII Conference. Am I upset that Colorado and Nebraska are leaving? As my buddy Jimbo pointed out, “We can get rid of Colorado and Nebraska? Awesome! Why didn’t we do this years ago?”

I don’t know. Colorado? Sure, screw them and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. I still remember “Fifth-and-Goal”. I know. Life is too short to hate. I hate Colorado. Fifth down and they still didn’t score on the last play. And they won the NCAA title? Eff ‘em. Have fun in the Pac 10.

Nebraska is a different story. Hard not to love Nebraska football. Well, not love. But it’s hard to hate ‘husker football. Lots of respect. I mean, they’re not Oklahoma or Kansas! Very easy to hate them. But Nebraska football has earned a lot of respect, if nothing else. Tom Osbourne, black shirts, a gazillion consecutive sellouts in Lincoln, fans applauding the opposing team even after getting their butts whooped. 

I was an usher at the Mizzou/Nebraska game where the ‘huskers won in overtime after an incomplete pass was kicked in the air and Nebraska got the touchdown. Nebraska fans were applauding Mizzou (on the road!) after the game and a nice, older lady even told me as she walked out of the stadium, “see you in a bowl game”. It was so nice. Mizzou hadn’t been to a bowl game in so long that it was enough to make me cry.

Mizzou never beat Nebraska in football. At home games we’d chant, “Wait ‘till basketball!” We’d consider it a victory if we only lost by 20 points. Not pretty. But again, it wasn’t Oklahoma or Kansas, so it was almost tolerable. Then a few years back Mizzou suddenly became pretty good in football and we began beating Nebraska on a regular basis. Watch out for the flying pigs. Mizzou even played in two consecutive Big XII championship games, being soundly beaten by Oklahoma and Texas. 

But Nebraska figures to be much improved this season. And the Tigers should be pretty good this year too (always the alma mater optimist!) And now this will be the last season that they will play in the same conference. So long, Nebraska Cornhuskers. Have fun in the Big Ten. 

It seemed like Mizzou was gonna be the one team to leave the Big XII for the Big Ten. Media reports said it was a “done deal”. Then the ‘huskers announced they were leaving and Mizzou announced that they never even got an offer from the Big Ten. Was Mizzou being played by the Big Ten? Kind of seems like it. But whatever.

So long, Nebraska. Hope we can schedule some non-conference games in the future to continue the rivalry. I guess we can meet in future bowl games.