The Gay Softball League

THE SPORTS BOTTOM - August 6, 2010

For the third time in four years my softball team, the San Francisco Inferno, has qualified to play in the Gay Softball World Series. A once-in-a-lifetime chance has happened to me now for the third time. Just amazing.

This year’s World Series is being held in Columbus, Ohio. Looking forward to spending a little time in Columbus. Supposedly it’s a lovely and very gay-friendly city. Should be fun.

I’m the starting pitcher for the Inferno. My pitching skills have declined a bit in the last two seasons. Not sure if it’s age, life struggles or what, but my confidence in my pitching has been wavering a lot the past two seasons.  And it’s all mental. It’s all in my head.

Softball has been a wonderful diversion in my life this past year. Not even mentioning how awesome my team is and what wonderful people they all are and how fun they are to hang out with, softball has taught me to believe in myself and have confidence in myself. It also helps in the toughness department.

I’ve been hit by a line drive on the pitcher’s mound before. It hurts. It REALLY hurts. Being on the pitcher’s mound I’m the closest defender to the batter, sans the catcher. And the ball comes quickly off the bat sometimes. Gotta be ready. 

More than that it’s about overcoming just the fear of being hit by a ball. Some big, burly dude comes up to the plate and my first thought is to roll the ball on the ground and walk the dude. But that’s not really fair to my teammates who are trying and want the ball hit to them. Gotta suck it up and be ready for the line drives and grounders coming my way.

Confidence. It’s a critical factor in all areas of our lives. At least it is in my life. Gotta jump back into the dating world. Gotta get a job. Probably should concentrate on the job more than the dating thing. Gotta play the game of job hunting. Gotta get an income started again. My life got a bit easier when I met Kevin and moved in with him. But he’s gone now and I’m on my own again to make my life happen and be happy again. I also have a kitty who depends on me for his survival.

Where’s the confidence going to come from? How am I gonna be able to get a new job and sell myself to a new employer? How am I gonna be able to get my life over this sadness and darkness that has been hovering over me since that horrible day in January? The answer is renewed confidence in myself. And where is that confidence coming from these days? That’s right, the softball field.

Because I’m NOT gonna walk the big, burly dude whose at bat right now. I’m gonna throw the ball over the plate and if he hits it 500 feet away or if he lines it off of my leg, I’m gonna be ready and do the best I can. Because if for no other reason, my teammates are counting on me. And I do love every one of them and I don’t want to let them down. 

It’s just a game, sure. Gay softball. Some people snicker. I could care less. My teammates change every year, but the Inferno Family is always the same. Thanks, all of you. And let’s kick some major ass in Columbus. Go Inferno! Flame On!!!